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" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "
Norman Wisdom
Know
Dog
You
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" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "
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" I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano. "
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" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "
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" I owe everything to the army. "
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Army
" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "
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" I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have. "
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" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "
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" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "
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" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "
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" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "
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" My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it. "
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" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "
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" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "
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" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "
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Show
" I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about. "
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