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" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "

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" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "

" I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that. "

" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "

" Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do. "

" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "

" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "

" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "

" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "

" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "

" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "

" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "

" I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have. "

" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap. "

" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "

" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "

" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "

" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "

" Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. "

" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "

" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "

" When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own. "

" I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night. "

" My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. "

" Of course I've done musicals here in London. "

" At my age, the radiation will probably do me good. "

" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "

" I owe everything to the army. "

" My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it. "