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" Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective. "

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" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

" That was a misconception among a lot of people - that Mormons are polygamist. No, they're not. I mean they obviously have that in their history, and there are some fundamentalists. "

" When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. "

" If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this. This seems really stupid.' "

" I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell - but then I can never bring myself to sell them. "

" I hate puppets so much. "

" I've started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making 'South Park,' and I always have. It's super stressful. I'm always miserable. "

" I was a big 'Charlie Brown' fan as a kid. "

" The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act. "

" So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it. "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh. "

" I don't want to say never, but I hope I don't become that 'take me seriously now' guy. "

" You know, and it really doesn't have a lot to do with the movie. That's the trick to doing a good musical is that, if you take that music number out, there's less to the movie there. You would miss it. "

" Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb? "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

" I can feel myself dying inside. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

" I've never met a Mormon I didn't like. They're really nice people. They're so Disney. They're so Rodgers and Hammerstein. "

" Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" All the religions are super funny to me. "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "

" No show would be successful if you took a group of people and just said, 'You're dumb!' over and over. That's not what Broadway's about. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "