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" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

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" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "

" Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper. "

" You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado. "

" I grew up with the religion of 'Star Wars,' frankly. That's when I realized there is something bigger out there... and it's called The Force. "

" Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America. "

" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

" I can feel myself dying inside. "

" Doing a musical is like having a kid. It's out there alive somewhere. It's not like a movie or a TV show where what we intended is what everyone will see. The kid can act out. The kid's going to do what it wants to do. "

" We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

" When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh. "

" I've started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making 'South Park,' and I always have. It's super stressful. I'm always miserable. "

" I've never met a Mormon I didn't like. They're really nice people. They're so Disney. They're so Rodgers and Hammerstein. "

" Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb? "

" We have it, we're lucky enough that we've created a show where it's not about... a family, or a kid, it's about a town. "

" We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us. "

" I don't want to say never, but I hope I don't become that 'take me seriously now' guy. "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" That was a misconception among a lot of people - that Mormons are polygamist. No, they're not. I mean they obviously have that in their history, and there are some fundamentalists. "

" Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas. "

" Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective. "

" I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn. "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "

" It's been a fascinating thing because we didn't really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It's been like, we've just sort of grown up a bit and it's amazing to just see how, if you take Butters and Cartman and put them in any scene, it works. "

" All the religions are super funny to me. "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd. "

" In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever. "