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" Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb? "

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" When you're watching 'Armageddon,' and the Aerosmith song starts... Super funny. "

" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "

" How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?' "

" So we're considering doing a new Christmas album, because there's been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of 'The Most Offensive Song Ever' with lyrics intact. "

" I hate puppets so much. "

" It's been a fascinating thing because we didn't really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It's been like, we've just sort of grown up a bit and it's amazing to just see how, if you take Butters and Cartman and put them in any scene, it works. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us. "

" Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be. "

" I was a big 'Charlie Brown' fan as a kid. "

" Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective. "

" No show would be successful if you took a group of people and just said, 'You're dumb!' over and over. That's not what Broadway's about. "

" Colorado's right next to Utah - you know, Mormon Central. "

" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

" No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.' "

" You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody. "

" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" Even if you're not Christian, just from being in our culture you know Jesus and resurrection and redemption. "

" A lot of people don't realize this, but probably the one person that gets made fun of in 'South Park' more than anybody is my dad. Stan's father, Randy - my dad's name is Randy - that's my drawing of my dad; that's me doing my dad's voice. That is just my dad. Even Stan's last name, Marsh, was my dad's stepfather's name. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" My favorite musical? I don't. It changes all the time. I'm just a diehard, I'm totally old school, like I'll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the first one there. "

" So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it. "

" Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable. "

" The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act. "

" If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't. "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "