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" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

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" I've never met a Mormon I didn't like. They're really nice people. They're so Disney. They're so Rodgers and Hammerstein. "

" You know, and it really doesn't have a lot to do with the movie. That's the trick to doing a good musical is that, if you take that music number out, there's less to the movie there. You would miss it. "

" When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh. "

" Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb? "

" Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd. "

" Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper. "

" It was exactly the same on the South Park movie really too. There's lots of violence in that too, but it always came down to anything sexual... They don't care about anything else. "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

" What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material. "

" Doing a musical is like having a kid. It's out there alive somewhere. It's not like a movie or a TV show where what we intended is what everyone will see. The kid can act out. The kid's going to do what it wants to do. "

" Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas. "

" So we're considering doing a new Christmas album, because there's been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of 'The Most Offensive Song Ever' with lyrics intact. "

" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don't make sense to anyone else. "

" When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything. "

" It's been a fascinating thing because we didn't really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It's been like, we've just sort of grown up a bit and it's amazing to just see how, if you take Butters and Cartman and put them in any scene, it works. "

" When you're watching 'Armageddon,' and the Aerosmith song starts... Super funny. "

" My favorite musical? I don't. It changes all the time. I'm just a diehard, I'm totally old school, like I'll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the first one there. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

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" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. "