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" People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right. "

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" Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life. "

" My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. "

" You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker. "

" Some people believe everything they see on TV. People, it's called tel-lie-vision! "

" I'm not a child star, but you could say that I've grown up on TV. I went from being an unknown, down-and-out comic from Brooklyn and the Bronx to being a regular character on a major network comedy called 'Martin.' From there I went on to become the most notable black comic on 'Saturday Night Live' since Eddie Murphy. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that. "

" There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days. "

" I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.' "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" I've played outrageous characters my whole career. "

" When you see me on the street, act like you know me. "

" Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you're carrying yourself because there's a little girl. There's not a little boy, there's a little girl. I think I'm a little more overprotective. "

" I think hip hop is dead. It's all pop now. If you call it hip hop, then you need to stop. Hip hop was a movement. Hip hop was a culture. Hip hop was a way of life. It's all commercial now. "

" I would love to try action films. "

" I love working with Alec Baldwin. He's one of the five greatest actors ever to live. "

" I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn't have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence. "

" Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy. "

" Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they're out, they're ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them. "

" Yeah, race exists. Racism is still here, and it's doing well. Turn on the news. I don't think me and my comedy can really change that. "

" I don't see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate. "

" It's very important to be in your child's life and know what's going on and be there with them. "

" People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive. "

" People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills. "

" Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. "

" I think it's good that I get scared because, if you never get scared, you don't have any need for guts. "

" I don't do drama. I'm a comedian. "

" And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly. "

" My heart is committed to giving everyone the same rights that I deserve for myself. "

" The version of me you see on TV now and in my feature films is a pretty happy guy, isn't he? "