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" I think it's good that I get scared because, if you never get scared, you don't have any need for guts. "

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" People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right. "

" When you see me on the street, act like you know me. "

" If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler. "

" I want to show the world my humor. "

" I remember when I was on 'Saturday Night Live' my first year, and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. "

" My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. "

" I think hip hop is dead. It's all pop now. If you call it hip hop, then you need to stop. Hip hop was a movement. Hip hop was a culture. Hip hop was a way of life. It's all commercial now. "

" Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. "

" If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it's contemporary wit, you know what I'm saying? "

" I'm glad I dropped out of high school, man. I wouldn't be where I'm at. I would have had a net. I'm glad I didn't have anything to fall back on, man, because that made me go for my dreams that much harder. "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me. "

" If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don't miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material. "

" I'm a black man in America, so I'm going to be misunderstood. "

" I'm not getting any younger. You're not getting any younger, so yeah. You age. "

" People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive. "

" I think the word 'pregnant' is funny. "

" Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing. "

" It gets scary when you're dealing with people who don't know how to separate fact from fiction. "

" I'm a human being. I feel all emotions. I'm not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I'm sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down. "

" You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker. "

" I love '30 Rock' because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week. "

" I don't even read the newspaper; I don't read that crap. "

" I would love to try action films. "

" I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut. "

" For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business. "

" You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing. "

" Who's coming with me? I don't know where I'm going, but who's coming with me? "

" I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards. "