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" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

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" I love '30 Rock' because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week. "

" Welcome to post-racial America. I'm the face of post-racial America. "

" I've got friends who want money but don't want to do anything to earn it. "

" I'm glad I dropped out of high school, man. I wouldn't be where I'm at. I would have had a net. I'm glad I didn't have anything to fall back on, man, because that made me go for my dreams that much harder. "

" I do comedy for real people. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" If she's not spoken for, and you come at her correctly, like a man, she'll get with you. "

" Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius. "

" It's just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It's awesome to have people quoting you. I love it. "

" Whatever I did on 'Saturday Night Live' is going to stay and remain on 'Saturday Night Live.' "

" On 'Saturday Night Live,' I never really wrote. You know, I would just - I would let the writers cast me into the show. So my strength - and I put all my energies into performance. I just couldn't deal with the rejection, you know, getting your sketches cut, and it was hard for me. "

" Comedy should be easy, not laboured. "

" I don't have anything against Jimmy Fallon. I love Jimmy Fallon. He's my dude. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly. "

" I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards. "

" I have the person at home, the person who has his privacy, too. Michael Jackson didn't do the moonwalk in his kitchen. "

" When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it. "

" My fans would love to see Brian Fellow come back. I love my fans. And they like my edge. "

" I do my best creating on stage. "

" Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes. "

" The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails! "

" I want to show the world my humor. "

" If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place. "

" Tracy Morgan is subdued. I'm cool. I'm chilled out. "

" I've still got family members living below the poverty line in New York. "

" I'm human, I feel, I understand. That's the highest level of love, is understanding - when you can understand someone, when you can love them with their flaws and their faults. So I understand, I consider. I may speak the truth, but I'll consider your feelings, too. "

" I don't believe in storks. I know they don't deliver babies; they deliver pickles. "

" Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing. "

" I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am - just working. "