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" Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Singing

You

Wish

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" Democrats hate success. "

" Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress. "

" If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' "

" Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Purpose

Children

" We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. "

" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "

" Democrats hate Democrats most of all. "

" Rahm Emanuel is, we are almost certain, a vampire. "

" Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another. "

" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "

" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "

" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "

" Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can. "

" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "

" I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid. "

" The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "

" We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans. "

" Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading. "

" Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it down and killing it. "

" You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. "

" Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. "

" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Making

Fun

" Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. "

" There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list. "

" People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. "

" The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they are massed in places where you wouldn't want to be in one. Florida's mobile homes lie athwart the path of hurricanes. Georgia's are in the way of tornadoes. "

" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "

" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "

" Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia, and the Caucasus? Being there was not so fun. "

" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "