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" Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading. "

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" You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages. "

" In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference. "

" The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. "

" Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of Moral Sentiments.' "

" Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. "

" America is a meritocracy. "

" Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. "

" Affirmative action makes employers think, 'Black woman nuclear physicist? Hah! Probably let her into Harvard 'cause they were looking for a twofer. Bet she got C's in high school practical math. Give her a job in personnel.' "

" Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters. "

" Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. "

" Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. "

" Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned. "

" It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was once a journalistic hack, and I can personally testify to how frustrated they are. Pol Pot left a very edgy photo collection behind. And Osama seems quite interested in video. "

" Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. "

" I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the violence surrounding the Civil Rights Movement. "

" The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. "

" We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter. "

" Disney's Tomorrowland is deeply, thoroughly, almost furiously unimaginative. "

" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "

" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "

" Writing is agony. I hate it. "

" I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason. "

" I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny. "

" My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless. "

" The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad. "

" Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. "

" Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. "

" Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money, the TARP funds and shovel-ready stimulus programs of their day. "

" People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans. "

" You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. "