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" Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. "

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" Thank God for YouTube. Every Thanksgiving, I'm bombarded with 'Turkey Lurkey Time.' "

Donna McKechnie

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. "

" If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. "

" I'm blessed to come from a family with five brothers. We're all physical and athletic and like to work out, like to be outside, like to throw the ball around. We spent our entire childhoods on some kind of corner or in a field. We still do a Turkey Bowl every Thanksgiving. It gets competitive, man. Bloody. "

" I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. "

" My interactions with my family members are all one-to-one. We don't all get together for Thanksgiving dinner. But I can sit and tell any one of them about a conversation that I just had with the other one, and they're all curious and interested and respectful. "

" Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy. "

" I think that is a better thing than thanksgiving: thanks-living. How is this to be done? By a general cheerfulness of manner, by an obedience to the command of Him by whose mercy we live, by a perpetual, constant delighting of ourselves in the Lord, and by a submission of our desires to His will. "

Charles Spurgeon

" Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids. "

" I'm vegetarian, but I love Thanksgiving dinner: faux turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. "

" In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. "

" North Carolina was where you could have Thanksgiving and feel like it was Thanksgiving. "

David H. Murdock

" I'm not a big turkey fan, but my husband loves it. Thanksgiving is his favorite meal. "

" There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. "

" Halloween is fun, but it wasn't always my favorite holiday. I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. "

" One of my most memorable Thanksgiving memories was probably the first year that me and my two brothers decided to start our annual eating contest. We ate throughout the whole day. We started that morning and weighed ourselves, and at the very end of the night, we weighed ourselves out. And all three of us equally gained five pounds. "

" When I first sat down with my oncologist the day before Thanksgiving, and she told me I would need 8 rounds of chemo, one of my first questions admittedly was: 'Will I lose my hair?' It sounds shallow, I know, but it was a very scary image to me. "

" On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings. "

" Shopmas now begins on Thanksgiving Day. Apparently, escaping the families you cannot stand to spend another minute with on Thanksgiving Day to go buy them gifts is how some Americans show their affection for one another. Weird. "

" I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen. "

" Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. "

" Never accept a drink from a urologist. "

" My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. "

" I was introduced to the Turducken in New Orleans. And it wasn't Thanksgiving. Glenn at the Gourmet Butcher Block brought it by, and I had never heard of it or had seen one, and they put it in the booth, and it smelled so good that I had to taste it. And it was good. Then Thanksgiving came, and we got one in addition to the traditional turkey. "

" Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. "

" I don't think any other holiday embraces the food of the Midwest quite like Thanksgiving. There's roasted meat and mashed potatoes. But being here is also about heritage. Cleveland is really a giant melting pot - not only is my family a melting pot, but so is the city. "

" It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. "

" If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it's really like making a large chicken. "

" When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. "