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All Quotes by author - Todd Barry

" And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy. "

" Anyone who bombs is my friend. "

" Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days. "

" I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up. "

" I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year. "

" I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that. "

" I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport. "

" I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value. "

" I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians. "

" I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. "

" I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place. "

" If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts. "

" If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward. "

" I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend. "

" I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange. "

" I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it. "

" I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work. "

" I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also. "

" I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase. "

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" I loved Australia. I was very successful there. "

" I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage. "

" I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage. "

" I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that. "

" I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. "

" I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone. "

" I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. "

" I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written. "

" I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors. "

" I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it. "

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