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" I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world. "

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" I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.' "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place. "

" I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" Well, I started out as a musician, so when I was about 10 years old, I was already in a band. "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we recorded at a radio station on the stairway, and we did a record and it got put out. "

" When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian. "

" Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick back. "

" I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life. "

Make A Difference

" Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. "

" The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself. "

" People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh. "

" Everything that happens to me is very cosmic. "

" You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France. "

" My incarceration was actually a positive thing from the beginning. I needed a gimmick to get my act going again, it gave me material. "

" Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies. "

" I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny. "

" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

" Well I don't know, I might have lost my citizenship, I don't think you can lose your citizenship though. "

" You can't become a dictator through checks and balances. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. The spirits whisper the ideas in your brain and prod you along. They're the ones that are really happy. "