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" I've been a good boy, I've never really been convicted of serious crime. "

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" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

" Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny. "

" I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny. "

" Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible. "

" I'm a hybrid. "

" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

" My incarceration was actually a positive thing from the beginning. I needed a gimmick to get my act going again, it gave me material. "

" When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian. "

" You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" Life, especially in America, is ruled by corporations. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say. "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" A lot of prophets have gone to jail. "

" To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place. "

" I'm as clean as a whistle. "

" We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we recorded at a radio station on the stairway, and we did a record and it got put out. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable. "

" Well I don't know, I might have lost my citizenship, I don't think you can lose your citizenship though. "

" You can't become a dictator through checks and balances. "

" I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world. "

" I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts. "

" You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" What made me a comedian was that I wasn't really a songwriter, I was more of a poet. "

" Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. "