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" Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies. "

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" Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh. "

" Everything that happens to me is very cosmic. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. "

" I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.' "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself. "

" I'm as clean as a whistle. "

" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it. "

" If I don't get paid I'm going to take a whole lot of Marshall amps home with me on the plane. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable. "

" Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny. "

" I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian. "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick back. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" My incarceration was actually a positive thing from the beginning. I needed a gimmick to get my act going again, it gave me material. "