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" The Social Wishlist on Facebook is a great example of everything right about social media. "

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" I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side? "

" Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do. "

" One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own. "

" Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us. "

" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "

" Once you have a firefighter in your family, your family and the families from his crew become one big extended family. "

" I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area. "

" I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album. "

" My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is 'Ice Age.' That's fine with me because pretty soon they'll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be. "

" I'm pretty much a chocolate guy. I'm up for any type of chocolate. Any chocolate. "

" Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself. "

" I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid. "

" Usually when you watch a film, you're just sort of biting your nails about things you could have done differently. "

" Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer. "

" Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads. "

" I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better. "

" People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes! "

" In my experience in series TV, if you have a good crew and a great cast, it's going to be a great group - similar to the theater where it's a bunch of people who are really talented and go to work each day and challenge each other, and if you are lucky enough to get a hit then it's five or six or seven years of this kind of work. "

" For us as writers, it's really important to have songs we believe in - even before sometimes we shoot a scene. If we have a song that's so perfectly designed for a scene on 'Rescue Me,' we'll play it on loud speakers during the shooting. It helps the cameraman and it helps the director, and it helps the actors know what the feel is. "

" It says on the back of the Nyquil box, 'May cause drowsiness.' It should say, 'Don't make any plans, OK? Kiss your family and friends good-bye.' "

" I really like 'Batman.' Not the TV show, but the dark 'Batman.' "

" If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. "

" George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live. "

" I'd love to play in a Red Sox game. It would be so awesome to actually walk out on the field and play, just for one inning. I'd also steal everything I could get my hands on in the clubhouse, which is why they won't let me do it. "

" I think all priests should be married. "

" Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time. "

" I wanted to be a hockey player. Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. I was terrible in school and actually said, 'I'm going to be a hockey player.' "

" Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. "

" In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life. "

" I'm not saying being a comedian is brain surgery, but it is definitely - it's like being a carpenter. You learn how to make tables and chairs. You have to have the right tools, and you have to know how to put the thing together, right? "