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" There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. "

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" Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. "

" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "

" Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. "

" Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. "

" Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. "

" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "

" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "

" One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. "

" About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. "

" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "

" I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. "

" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "

" There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. "

" There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. "

" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "

" Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. "

" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "

" If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. "

" A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. "

" A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. "

" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "

" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "

" Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. "

" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "

" Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. "

" Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. "

" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "

" I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. "