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" Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. "

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" There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. "

" Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. "

" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "

" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "

" I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. "

" Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. "

" Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. "

" I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. "

" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "

" The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. "

" There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. "

" Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. "

" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "

" In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. "

" A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. "

" Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. "

" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "

" There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. "

" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "

" No one can disgrace us but ourselves. "

" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "

" It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. "

" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "

" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "

" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "

" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "

" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

" It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. "