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" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "

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" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "

" Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. "

" Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. "

" Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. "

" Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. "

" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "

" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "

" There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. "

" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "

" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "

" It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. "

" I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. "

" Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. "

" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "

" Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. "

" If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. "

" It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. "

" A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. "

" There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. "

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" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "

" The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. "

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" Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. "

" One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. "

" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "