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" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "
" Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. "
" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "
" I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. "
" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "
" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "
" Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. "
" No one can disgrace us but ourselves. "
" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "
" Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. "
" About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. "
" Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. "
Life Is Short
" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "
" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "
" Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. "
" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "
" There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. "
" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "
" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "
" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "
" Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. "
" Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. "
" Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. "
" There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. "
" The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. "
" Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "
" Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. "
" It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money. "
" It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. "
" Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has. "
" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "