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" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "
" There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. "
" If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. "
" Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. "
" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "
" Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. "
" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "
" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "
" Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. "
" Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. "
" Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. "
" No one can disgrace us but ourselves. "
" The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. "
" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "
" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "
" A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. "
" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "
" There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. "
" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "
" As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. "
" I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. "
" There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. "
" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "
" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "
" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "
" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "
" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "
" Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. "
" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "
" Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. "
" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "