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" I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. "

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" There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. "

" One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "

" A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. "

" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "

" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

" Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. "

" Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. "

" There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. "

" Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. "

" There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. "

" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "

" The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. "

" Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. "

" A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. "

" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "

" Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. "

" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "

" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "

" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "

" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "

" Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. "

" Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. "

" The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. "

" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "

" Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. "

" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "

" Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "

" It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. "