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" Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Law

Rule Of Law

Ignorance

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" Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. "

" Space has always been confusing to politics. "

" Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. "

" The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help. "

" As a former writer for the 'National Lampoon,' I've probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live. "

" I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny. "

P. J. O'Rourke

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" A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. "

" Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress. "

" There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. "

" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Grow

People

" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "

" I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' "

" My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. "

" Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. "

" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "

" People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. "

" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "

" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "

" Politics won't allow for the truth. "

" The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they are massed in places where you wouldn't want to be in one. Florida's mobile homes lie athwart the path of hurricanes. Georgia's are in the way of tornadoes. "

" America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased. "

" In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.' "