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" Well, I started out as a musician, so when I was about 10 years old, I was already in a band. "

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" Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies. "

" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

" Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it. "

" Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny. "

" When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. The spirits whisper the ideas in your brain and prod you along. They're the ones that are really happy. "

" Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say. "

" One night all the James Brown band was playing on stage and I look in the back and I could see Mick Jagger and Keith Richards trying to get in the club and they couldn't get in cause it was to crowded. "

" When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh. "

" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France. "

" Everything that happens to me is very cosmic. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me. "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "

" The way jazz works is that we take a theme, and then we write using the same structure, same chord changes, and then we can do different tunes. "

" Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. "

" You can't become a dictator through checks and balances. "

" I'm a hybrid. "

" You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" A lot of prophets have gone to jail. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "