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" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

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" I'm a hybrid. "

" Once you're a felon you're a target. "

" I was more of a weightlifter. "

" I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life. "

Make A Difference

" Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. "

" The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya. "

" Well, I started out as a musician, so when I was about 10 years old, I was already in a band. "

" The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy. "

" Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call. "

" Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" Well I don't know, I might have lost my citizenship, I don't think you can lose your citizenship though. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we recorded at a radio station on the stairway, and we did a record and it got put out. "

" Everything that happens to me is very cosmic. "

" People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh. "

" I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts. "

" I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.' "

" My incarceration was actually a positive thing from the beginning. I needed a gimmick to get my act going again, it gave me material. "

" I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world. "

" I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny. "

" Life, especially in America, is ruled by corporations. "

" The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career. "

" You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me. "

" I've always been into improvisation. "

" The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself. "