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" When Richard Pryor did comedy, it was like he was having a conversation. "

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" I remember when I was on 'Saturday Night Live' my first year, and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. "

" As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life. "

" I mellowed out; my daughter mellowed me out, and I don't get mad at anyone. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy. "

" Some people believe everything they see on TV. People, it's called tel-lie-vision! "

" I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it's not about what you look like or what you do; it's about who you are inside. "

" So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah. "

" Growing up in the ghetto is pretty hard. It's poverty; it's frustration. "

" Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee. "

" You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic. "

" I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody's supposed to be happy in this world, man. "

" I've still got family members living below the poverty line in New York. "

" Most creative thing I've ever done? Got somebody pregnant. "

" My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of 'The Color Purple.' It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same. "

" My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. "

" Everybody's out to get something from somebody. 'Gold diggers' doesn't just mean money, it can mean time, it can mean feelings. It can mean anything when you're taking and not giving. When people don't know how to reciprocate. "

" There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days. "

" I don't do drama. I'm a comedian. "

" I love animals, but I don't want to talk to them. I'd rather be able to talk to other people on other continents and understand them. "

" Who's coming with me? I don't know where I'm going, but who's coming with me? "

" The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails! "

" Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing. "

" Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life. "

" I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are. "

" Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy. "

" You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing. "

" Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you're carrying yourself because there's a little girl. There's not a little boy, there's a little girl. I think I'm a little more overprotective. "

" I love working with Alec Baldwin. He's one of the five greatest actors ever to live. "

" I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy - laughter is universal, and I don't differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There's no reason why one person can't relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another. "