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" Most creative thing I've ever done? Got somebody pregnant. "

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" I think the word 'pregnant' is funny. "

" I'm no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn't raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that. "

" Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia. "

" As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life. "

" The version of me you see on TV now and in my feature films is a pretty happy guy, isn't he? "

" Rock bottom for some people is death. Some people never learn from their mistakes. They don't learn from other people's mistakes. "

" I have a heart. I want people to see me with their heart and not their eyes. "

" I have the person at home, the person who has his privacy, too. Michael Jackson didn't do the moonwalk in his kitchen. "

" My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of 'The Color Purple.' It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same. "

" You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella. "

" On 'Saturday Night Live,' I never really wrote. You know, I would just - I would let the writers cast me into the show. So my strength - and I put all my energies into performance. I just couldn't deal with the rejection, you know, getting your sketches cut, and it was hard for me. "

" Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you're carrying yourself because there's a little girl. There's not a little boy, there's a little girl. I think I'm a little more overprotective. "

" There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" Where I came from, people couldn't afford to go to the theatre. "

" I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no. "

" I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy. "

" God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I've ever went through in my life was worthwhile. "

" That's a gift God's given us: the ability to work together in collaborations. "

" I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards. "

" I love '30 Rock' because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week. "

" If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don't miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material. "

" I guess I'm entertaining; I guess I'm interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don't know. "

" Whenever I perform, people get me because I'm talking about things that people can identify with and relate to. I'm not just up there doing jokey, jokey, joke. "

" I love working with Alec Baldwin. He's one of the five greatest actors ever to live. "

" If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it's something we can all laugh at. "

" I have a nice following in Boston. The Boston crowd is very hip. "

" I want to be an example of a guy who made something of himself out of nothing. A guy who overcame the odds of a tough childhood, who worked hard, who didn't let his surroundings get the best of him and lead him to jail or the graveyard. Where I ended up - being a comedian, a TV star, and a movie actor - might be unique, but my story is not. "

" I mellowed out; my daughter mellowed me out, and I don't get mad at anyone. "

" When you look at the artists who have come up through 'Billboard' over the years, it's incredible. "