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" Women would rather be right than reasonable. "
Ogden Nash
Reasonable
Women
Rather
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" Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. "
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" Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. "
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One Thing
Exclusive
Most
" Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. "
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" I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine. "
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Great
Saint
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" Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. "
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" The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. "
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Early
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Morning
" Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? "
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Long
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" Too clever is dumb. "
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Too
Clever
Dumb
" A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. "
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Side
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" A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. "
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Children
Animal
Family
" To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. "
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Admit
Love
Loving
" I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. "
Ogden Nash
Juice
Mothers
Hope
" I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. "
Ogden Nash
Live
Rather
My Life
" There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends. "
Ogden Nash
Friends
Best
People
" The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. "
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Control
Most
Happiness
" I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. "
Ogden Nash
Right
News
Never
" There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. "
Ogden Nash
Happiness
Achieve
Conscience
" Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. "
Ogden Nash
Were
Ignore
Parents
" Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early? "
Ogden Nash
Simply
Late
You
" I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. "
Ogden Nash
Think
Fall
Lovely
" People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. "
Ogden Nash
Want
Telling
Really
" If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. "
Ogden Nash
You
Earn
Enough
" Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. "
Ogden Nash
Night
Hope
Home
" Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. "
Ogden Nash
Every
Having
Itch
" Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. "
Ogden Nash
Meet
Age
People
" Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money? "
Ogden Nash
Try
Money
Funny
" The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. "
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People
Who
Only
" Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. "
Ogden Nash
Naive
Children
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" I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. "
Ogden Nash
Man
Idea
Sex
" One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence. "
Ogden Nash
Remorse
Man
Another