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" I have no idea if some societies, anthropologically speaking, aren't really suited for democracy. I don't think that's true. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Democracy
True
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" The only advantage to being a middle-aged man is that when you put on a jacket and tie, you're the Scary Dad. Never mind that no one has had an actually scary dad since 1966. The visceral fear remains. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Scary
You
Fear
" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Religion
Experience
Good
" I was never a Democrat. I went from Republican to Maoist and then back again. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Back
Democrat
Never
" If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Would
Selling
" Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Die
Good
" Politics is the one field you don't age out of. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Field
You
Politics
" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Real
Writing
Romance
" Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jack
Best
Federal
" I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Remember
Car
Business
" The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
T-Shirt
Big
Thoughts
" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Internet
" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
Cycle
Phases
" They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Stupid
Romantic
" What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thought
Flower
Space
" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Agree
Rush
Therefore
" I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact, we're short on people. My town has a population of 301. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Short
Black
Gay
" The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
You
Two
" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consider
People
Liberals
" I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Me
Life
Friends
" Never fight an inanimate object. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Object
Fight
Funny
" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Interesting
Who
Songs
" Harvard is the home of American ideas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideas
Home
American
" Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Free
Globalization
" Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
People
Last
" War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Trouble
Away
Goes
" As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Go
Ray
Right
" Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Us
Worst
Violence
" The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Irresponsible
Run
" The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
People
Brain
" Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wrong
Time
Jimmy Carter