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" We rest our case on the production numbers. "

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" We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody. "

" It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't. "

" If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. "

" Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. "

" Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love. "

" If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none. "

" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. "

" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "

" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "

" I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn. "

" A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote. "

" Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance. "

" These men both publicly and privately have done so much for me. Without Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick I would be living in a little motel just around the corner here, trying to make ends meet. "

" Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. "

" But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. "

" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "

" I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage. "

" I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up. "

" If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "

" I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter. "

" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "

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" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "

" If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. "

" Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. "

" I wish I was better looking. "