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" What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong. "

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" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "

" The idea of Juilliard was that it would give you this toolbox full of skills that you could take with you and apply to anything. "

" People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. "

" I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal. "

" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor. "

" In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter. "

" Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string. "

" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "

" I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born. "

" We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. "

" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "

" It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work. "

" You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand. "

" In America they really do mythologise people when they die. "

" The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. "

" I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. "

" You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. "

" My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly. "

" I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It's easier than going to Georgia. "

" Comedy is acting out optimism. "

" I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. "

" You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. "

" Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to play off of. And it's a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you're playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics. "

" With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. "

" One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre. "

" Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier. "