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" Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood. "

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" Everything I've performed has been from my own head. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances. "

" Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine. "

" I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid. "

" I was a mother's boy. "

" I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II. "

" I can get an audience screaming in Las Vegas and say, 'Barbara, that was a great show,' and she'll say, 'Would you please hurry up? We have dinner reservations at 9:30.' "

" I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that. "

" The inaugural of Ronald Reagan, with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. And that was the greatest thing. Ronald Reagan and George Bush. That was - I still remember like it was yesterday. "

" Funny is funny. "

" I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months. "

" I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it. "

" I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room. "

" I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game. "

" Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion. "

" Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good. "

" I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is. "

" You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter. "

" I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on. "

" After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broadway, so I just started talking to audiences at different social gatherings, and little by little I became Don Rickles - whatever that is. "

" Sometimes, I knew generally what I was going to do, but I've never written anything down. Call it a sixth sense: the lines just come. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera. "

" I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy. "

" I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important. "

Friends And Family

" You've got to be able to sell yourself. "

" It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great. "

" Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh. "

" We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't. "