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" I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it. "

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" You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh. "

" I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me. "

" When I was a younger guy doing comedy, it was a big struggle. Promoters canceled me out of clubs left and right when I called somebody a dummy or a yo-yo. Then they realized I was different. "

" Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive. "

" I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important. "

Friends And Family

" In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know. "

" When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. "

" Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment. "

" When I'm onstage, I'm acting. "

" In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license. "

" Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan. "

" When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit. "

" I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me. "

" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "

" Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine. "

" You've got to be able to sell yourself. "

" You know what's funny to me? Attitude. "

" I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke. "

" I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh. "

" The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson. "

" No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you. "

" Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one. "

" When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last. "

" Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary. "

" It takes many years to be a great comedian. "

" Compared to what some of the young comics use for material today, I'm a priest. "

" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" The highlight of my career was being at the inaugural gala of Ronald Reagan, and I owe that to Mr. Sinatra. "

" Everything I've performed has been from my own head. "