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" I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is. "
Don Rickles
Time
Say
People
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" My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world. "
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" I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me. "
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" I can get an audience screaming in Las Vegas and say, 'Barbara, that was a great show,' and she'll say, 'Would you please hurry up? We have dinner reservations at 9:30.' "
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" I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh. "
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" It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that. "
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" I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. "
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" The inaugural of Ronald Reagan, with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. And that was the greatest thing. Ronald Reagan and George Bush. That was - I still remember like it was yesterday. "
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" What keeps me going is that young people still want to see me. "
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" I didn't get married until I was 38. "
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" I ride a recumbent bike for half an hour every day. "
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" I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that. "
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" Ninety percent of the people who come to see me are my fans. "
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" I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months. "
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" When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!' "
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" Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera. "
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" I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning. "
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Morning
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" After over 50 years of headlining, I've been received very beautifully. But I always say, when you're onstage, you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's OK. "
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" I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me. "
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" Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap. "
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" Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it. "
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High
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" I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room. "
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" There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage. "
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