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" Sometimes, I knew generally what I was going to do, but I've never written anything down. Call it a sixth sense: the lines just come. "

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" I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner. "

" I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me. "

" I never went out looking for glory. "

" I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner. "

" I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room. "

" You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up. "

" Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it. "

" Now when I'm not working, I don't really hang out with the young comics. "

" Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine. "

" Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel. "

End Of The Tunnel

" The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I did a study on this, you know. "

" I was a big shot in high school - big into social events and at the dramatic society - and I always had trouble in school. Not because I was a dummy, but I was always busy being the Jackson Heights clown. "

" I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. "

" I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid. "

" I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore. "

" I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out. "

" Frank Sinatra. Hey, Frank, I saw you in 'The Pride and Passion,' and I want to tell you the cannon was wonderful! "

" At 90, I'm still working a couple of dates a month. My mind is very sharp on the stage, so why not? This may sound corny, but I do it because people - young and old - still come to see me, and they're very enthusiastic about my work. They treat me like the Godfather. "

" Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports. "

" I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys. "

" Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Did I know at that time Clint Eastwood, to him, Heaven was a truck, a dog, and a picnic basket for food or something? "

" So, I'm on the satellite every Sunday, no matter where we are, with the Rams. Turn on the satellite; got to watch the Rams. "

" My whole act is off the top of my head. "

" You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh. "

" My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances. "

" If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day. "

" I told jokes badly. "

" Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one. "

" I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate. "

" To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller. "