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" It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great. "

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" Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight. "

" Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel. "

End Of The Tunnel

" I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning. "

" They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities. "

" It takes many years to be a great comedian. "

" Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports. "

" I didn't get married until I was 38. "

" One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business. "

" My whole act is off the top of my head. "

" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" The highlight of my career was being at the inaugural gala of Ronald Reagan, and I owe that to Mr. Sinatra. "

" I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative. "

" I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner. "

" You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. "

" I do situations and make fun of authority and life. "

" If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day. "

" Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it. "

" Ninety percent of the people who come to see me are my fans. "

" I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out. "

" I've never had a written script. "

" Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive. "

" When you do comedy, you can't please the world, although I'd like to think that most of my audiences were on my side. "

" I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies. "

" My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head. "

" When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last. "

" There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage. "

" I ride a recumbent bike for half an hour every day. "

" I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on. "

" I still have drive, but everything is relative. "