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" You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter. "

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" When I'm onstage, I'm acting. "

" Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?' "

" Everything I've performed has been from my own head. "

" I've never had a written script. "

" I never went out looking for glory. "

" I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat. "

" My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss. "

" What keeps me going is that young people still want to see me. "

" The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now. "

" The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.' "

" I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner. "

" I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys. "

" An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. "

" I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies. "

" It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that. "

" I ride a recumbent bike for half an hour every day. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

" I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me. "

" I write my own tweets. "

" Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight. "

" I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months. "

" When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. "

" Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore. "

" To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it. "

" I still have drive, but everything is relative. "

" Frank Sinatra. Hey, Frank, I saw you in 'The Pride and Passion,' and I want to tell you the cannon was wonderful! "

" You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. "

" I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game. "

" I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative. "