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" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "

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" Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards. "

" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "

" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "

" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "

" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "

" I do play drums when I'm on tour. "

" Of course I've done musicals here in London. "

" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "

" When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own. "

" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "

" You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it! "

" I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that. "

" I owe everything to the army. "

" I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good. "

" It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap. "

" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "

" Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do. "

" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "

" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "

" I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about. "

" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "

" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "

" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "

" It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice. "

" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "

" I believe in physical comedy, because that reaches out most to people. "

" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "

" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "

" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "

" My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. "