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" I owe everything to the army. "

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" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "

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" It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice. "

" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "

" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "

" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "

" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "

" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "

" Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. "

" I believe in physical comedy, because that reaches out most to people. "

" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "

" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "

" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "

" You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it! "

" I do play drums when I'm on tour. "

" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "

" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "

" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "

" I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have. "

" Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards. "

" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "

" I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that. "

" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "

" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "

" When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own. "

" It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap. "

" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "

" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "

" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "

" My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it. "