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" America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nation
Think
Thank God
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" We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. "
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" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. "
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" Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "
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" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. "
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" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
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" Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bar
Conservative
Pretty
" In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed, puling, supercilious crank, thwarted in ambition, aging gracelessly, mad at the cosmos, and ashamed of his own jejune ideals. He is nevertheless very dear to me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Aging
Me
Mad
" In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fear
Jokes
Waves
" Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Place
Nice
" The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Good
Goals
Purpose
" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Stupid
Get
Culture
" Excessive speed and quantity are, like chattiness and digression, besetting sins of cyber-assisted authorship. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Quantity
Excessive
Sins
" Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Joy
Politics
Hope
" I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Museum
Gone
Hong Kong
" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Real
Writing
Romance
" My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sexism
Generation
Earth
" Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Engineering
Nature
Art
" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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Today
American
" Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
America
Child
" The great majority of Baghdad is a slum - a lot of it's new, but it's still slum. It's usually this concrete-block, one-room design with a door and a window, arranged one-up, one-down, often with a shop with nothing in it on the first floor, and then a one-room apartment above it. There's street after street after street of that stuff. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Street
Window
Design
" Freedom is for fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Freedom
" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wisdom
1960s
Any