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" There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. "

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" Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. "

" I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm. "

" War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. "

" I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash together to make a blob of a sentence that bears some likeness to reason and sense. "

" I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids, and I had grade school classes with 40-some kids. Discipline was rigid. Most of the learning was rote. It worked. "

" The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic. "

" Space has always been confusing to politics. "

" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "

" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "

" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "

" Freedom is for fun. "

" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "

" There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. "

" My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. "

" Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments. "

" Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life. "

" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "

" I believe in God. God created the world. "

" Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I assure you, all the crazy people have guns, too. "

" The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it. "

" Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse. "

" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "

" I have no idea if some societies, anthropologically speaking, aren't really suited for democracy. I don't think that's true. "

" Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and that anything that's done contrary to the well-being of the individual needs some pretty serious justification. "

" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "

" New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State's registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they're going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can't understand what they say. "

" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "

" Philosophy was once considered science. "

" Adam Smith pointed out that there were three things that make us more prosperous, in a general sort of way: freedom to pursue our own self-interest; specialization, which he called division of labor; and freedom of trade. "

" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "