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" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

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" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

" The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act. "

" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "

" How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?' "

" I grew up with the religion of 'Star Wars,' frankly. That's when I realized there is something bigger out there... and it's called The Force. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. "

" Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike. "

" We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us. "

" Like anything important, anything you need people to hear - you've got to have music for it. You've got to make it at least a little piece of a song or sometimes a whole song. "

" I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas. "

" That was a misconception among a lot of people - that Mormons are polygamist. No, they're not. I mean they obviously have that in their history, and there are some fundamentalists. "

" Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be. "

" It's been a fascinating thing because we didn't really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It's been like, we've just sort of grown up a bit and it's amazing to just see how, if you take Butters and Cartman and put them in any scene, it works. "

" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

" Colorado's right next to Utah - you know, Mormon Central. "

" We have it, we're lucky enough that we've created a show where it's not about... a family, or a kid, it's about a town. "

" Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. "

" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

" People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don't make sense to anyone else. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of people didn't, they didn't even know what it was. "

" When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything. "

" All the religions are super funny to me. "

" I find Mormons adorable. "

" When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh. "

" I can feel myself dying inside. "

" I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn. "