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" Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be. "

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" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" We have it, we're lucky enough that we've created a show where it's not about... a family, or a kid, it's about a town. "

" You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado. "

" I hate puppets so much. "

" I can feel myself dying inside. "

" When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh. "

" People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don't make sense to anyone else. "

" I don't want to say never, but I hope I don't become that 'take me seriously now' guy. "

" When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything. "

" Colorado's right next to Utah - you know, Mormon Central. "

" If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't. "

" Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike. "

" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "

" A lot of people don't realize this, but probably the one person that gets made fun of in 'South Park' more than anybody is my dad. Stan's father, Randy - my dad's name is Randy - that's my drawing of my dad; that's me doing my dad's voice. That is just my dad. Even Stan's last name, Marsh, was my dad's stepfather's name. "

" Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd. "

" When you sit down and write a song, you kind of have the idea for the song, and you sit there at the piano and you kinda just write it. And then of course later there's some dinking around with it and changing some stuff. "

" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

" If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this. This seems really stupid.' "

" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

" So we're considering doing a new Christmas album, because there's been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of 'The Most Offensive Song Ever' with lyrics intact. "

" Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

" We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us. "

" You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper. "

" How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?' "

" My favorite musical? I don't. It changes all the time. I'm just a diehard, I'm totally old school, like I'll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the first one there. "