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" Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in Guangdong province have your job? "

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" All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step. "

" The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't know how, like George Bush senior. "

" Demolishing pretensions, especially worthy ones, is a hallmark of the baby boom. "

" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "

" Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left. "

" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "

" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "

" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "

" The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. "

" Like it or not, I've come to appreciate soccer. Any kid can play, which fits with the inclusive agenda of progressive schools. Although the corollary to 'any kid can play' is that every kid must play because there is an iron grip to the warm hug of progressive inclusionism. "

" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "

" Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. "

" Even the most left-wing politicians worship wealth creation - as the political-action-committee collection plate is passed. "

" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "

" You've got to understand, people are motivated by fun. And they should be. "

" People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans. "

" Space has always been confusing to politics. "

" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "

" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "

" We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there. "

" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "

" Some taxpayers may object to a print journalism bailout on the grounds that it mostly benefits the liberal elite. And we can't blame taxpayers for being reluctant to subsidize the reportorial careers of J-school twerps who should have joined the Peace Corps and gone to Africa to 'speak truth to power' to Robert Mugabe. "

" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "

" I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper. "

" Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. "

" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "

" Kids are disorganized. "

" The only advantage to being a middle-aged man is that when you put on a jacket and tie, you're the Scary Dad. Never mind that no one has had an actually scary dad since 1966. The visceral fear remains. "

" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "

" I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements. "