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" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "

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" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "

" Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own. "

" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" I liked myself better when I wasn't me. "

" I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland. "

" But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. "

" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

" It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers. "

" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany. "

" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "

" I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. "

" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "

" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "

" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "

" I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me. "

" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "

" I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself. "

" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattress,' that kind of put me on the map. "

" It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "

" We don't stop going to school when we graduate. "

" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "