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" I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself. "
Carol Burnett
She
Very
Herself
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" When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go. "
Carol Burnett
You
Never
Dream
" I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time. "
Carol Burnett
TV
Time
Be Different
" Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. "
Carol Burnett
Head
Your
Over
" I liked myself better when I wasn't me. "
Carol Burnett
Liked
Myself
Me
" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "
Carol Burnett
Room
Funniest
Go
" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "
Carol Burnett
Know
Newspaper
Experience
" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "
Carol Burnett
Where
Setbacks
Going
" I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. "
Carol Burnett
Now
Guard
Circumstances
" As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing. "
Carol Burnett
Thought
Timing
Wonderful
" I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will. "
Carol Burnett
Shy
Kid
Kind
" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "
Carol Burnett
You
Story
Going
" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Tragedy
Plus
" I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today. "
Carol Burnett
Stars
Time
Today
" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "
Carol Burnett
Adolescence
Big
Just
" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "
Carol Burnett
Gentleman
Me
Job
" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Broadway
Wanted
" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "
Carol Burnett
Who
Always
Doing
" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "
Carol Burnett
Life
Because
Without
" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "
Carol Burnett
Scream
Good
Body
" When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh. "
Carol Burnett
Play
Laugh
Business
" I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy. "
Carol Burnett
Doing
Family
Loved
" I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking. "
Carol Burnett
Puzzle
Morning
Matter
" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "
Carol Burnett
Variety
Weird
Show
" I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry. "
Carol Burnett
Sit
Smile
Wave
" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "
Carol Burnett
Motivational
My Life
Life
" I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany. "
Carol Burnett
Voice
Had
Good
" I love audiences. "
Carol Burnett
Audiences
I Love
Love
" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "
Carol Burnett
Reason
Think
Never
" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "
Carol Burnett
You
Welfare
Texas
" Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant. "
Carol Burnett
He
Brilliant
Body