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" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

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" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "

" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "

" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "

" Nobody understands anyone 18, including those who are 18. "

" Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant. "

" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "

" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "

" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "

" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "

" My whole life, growing up, I always wanted to be in comedy. I never felt comfortable doing the 'teen hunk' thing. "

Dustin Milligan

" I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking. "

" I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that. "

" I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. "

" I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me. "

" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "

" I have a great memory. "

" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "

" My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen. "

" My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved. "

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "

" I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. "

" I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism. "

" I really enjoy connecting with the audience. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland. "

" I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these? "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "