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" I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick. "
Dominic Holland
I Am
Myself
Am
Related Quotes:
" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "
Dominic Holland
Me
Back
I Am
" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "
Dominic Holland
How
Comedy
Doing
" Apathy in youth culture is pretty stark. "
Dominic Holland
Youth
Stark
Pretty
" I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny. "
Dominic Holland
I Am
My Life
People
" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "
Dominic Holland
World
You
Street
" When I do a show, I jot little notes for me to remember, and when the show is done and forgotten, I chuck them all over the car. My wife goes nuts. "
Dominic Holland
Nuts
Remember
Wife
" Where I live in south London, it is a very Tory area, so a Labour vote is a wasted vote. My leanings would certainly be not to vote Tory. "
Dominic Holland
Vote
London
Live
" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "
Dominic Holland
Dog
I Am
Funny
" Edinburgh is a world city, visited throughout the year for its beauty and history, but in August, it is the City of Hope. There is something very exciting and romantic about performers of all shapes and sizes, honing their stuff for the biggest arts festival in the world. "
Dominic Holland
City
Romantic
Hope
" I even like the Scottish weather because, like everywhere in the U.K., you can't have great beauty without lots of rain. "
Dominic Holland
Like
Beauty
You
" I've written 'Eclipsed' as a funny story. It is completely bonkers. "
Dominic Holland
Funny
Funny Story
Story
" Many years ago, I was a young and, dare I say it, very hot new comedian. Maybe even the hottest of all if the now defunct Perrier panel of judges were to be believed. "
Dominic Holland
Say
Hot
Young
" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "
Dominic Holland
Opportunity
Kids
Complain
" I was spectacularly average at school, while my two brothers did really well academically. But my dad never said I didn't try hard enough. He knew I did my best. "
Dominic Holland
Best
School
Try
" I find it pressurising coming to the Voodoo Rooms to do my hour of comedy. "
Dominic Holland
Find
Coming
Rooms
" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "
Dominic Holland
Car
Good
Home
" When I phoned up and said, 'Mum, I'm doing a 52-date national tour with Eddie Izzard,' she said 'That's nice, dear. How are you?' "
Dominic Holland
She
You
Doing
" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "
Dominic Holland
Natural
Will
Achieve
" My story is comic because I've spent vast amounts of effort trying to become a Hollywood screenwriter and made no direct effort on making my son a movie actor. "
Dominic Holland
Story
Trying
Hollywood
" When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by the way my dad used to laugh at the telly, and from a very early age, I had an idea of what was funny and why people laughed. "
Dominic Holland
Early
Age
Boy
" Tom has a gilded life which I have had a glimpse of. Yes, he does travel in private jets. "
Dominic Holland
Yes
Travel
Private
" Even though Bandos is one of the biggest islands in the Maldives, it only takes 20 minutes to walk round. All it has are some chalets and a little harbour centre with three restaurants and a bar. The food is magnificent. "
Dominic Holland
Food
Three
Walk
" My job is to make people laugh. If I've upset them instead, then I haven't done my job properly. "
Dominic Holland
Done
Laugh
Job
" Stand-up comedy is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned. "
Dominic Holland
Comedy
Stand-Up Comedy
Stand-Up
" There is nothing quite as loud as the silence of an audience when a comedian is on stage. "
Dominic Holland
Audience
Nothing
Stage
" The garden is something I always try to get into, but it always beats me. "
Dominic Holland
Try
Garden
Me
" I have tried many times to write a TV sitcom - with little success. "
Dominic Holland
Tried
Many
TV
" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "
Dominic Holland
Again
Back
Best
" Invest your money safely. Avoid the risky lure of spectacular returns; go for an investment that cannot lose its value. This is why I have put all my spare cash into buying not shares, but thousands of penny chews. "
Dominic Holland
Investment
Value
Lose
" I had a crisis of confidence and ran away from being a standup for a while. "
Dominic Holland
Crisis
Confidence
Being