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" HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. "

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" I'm careful with money. "

" I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. "

" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

" I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. "

" Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people. "

" It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure. "

" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "

" Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. "

" I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do. "

" I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now. "

" My pilot's license. I'm proud of that. "

" Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!' "

" I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest. "

" I am probably a pseudo-intellectual. "

" A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre. "

" I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. "

" It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. "

" I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.' "

" I try and live my life in bite-size chunks. "

" When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. "

" They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best. "

" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "

" I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger. "

" I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. "

" It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television. "

" I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. "

" The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful. "

" I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it. "

" I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job. "

" There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on. "