Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "

Related Quotes:

" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "

" I don't get emails from my corporate overlords. "

" Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child. "

" I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger. "

" I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. "

" Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people. "

" It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure. "

" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

" I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk. "

" All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. "

" You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. "

" It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. "

" I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. "

" I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. "

" I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. "

" I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He said, 'You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.' And I'm going to. "

" If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in. "

" Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me. "

" I wanted to be a rock star. "

" I am probably a pseudo-intellectual. "

" I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck. "

" The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman. "

" HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. "

" I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think. "

" I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think. "

" I realized women and humor were linked very closely. "

" A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself. "

" When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. "

" If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. "

" When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him. "