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" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

Craig Ferguson

Politicians

Joy

Powerful

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" All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. "

" I don't get emails from my corporate overlords. "

" There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on. "

" I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. "

Craig Ferguson

Time

Day

" The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes. "

" I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. "

Craig Ferguson

Self-Esteem

Think

" Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. "

Craig Ferguson

Talk

Want

" I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk. "

" Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child. "

" Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear. "

" I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck. "

" I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do. "

" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "

" A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself. "

" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "

Craig Ferguson

Young

Right

" I'm careful with money. "

Craig Ferguson

Careful

Money

" I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. "

" If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. "

" I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think. "

" Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people. "

" I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. "

" It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. "

" I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.' "

" My pilot's license. I'm proud of that. "

" When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him. "

Craig Ferguson

Drunk

Together

" I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you. "

" It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure. "

" I realized women and humor were linked very closely. "

" They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best. "

" The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman. "